Alone

This is more a personal matter and just something I must express. I feel so alone now days, yet I am not alone. I have a very strange family and friends; who don’t I bet you’re asking yourself. All my life I have been the one doing for others, being there when someone needed me. Family, Friends, and even stranger’s, I was called, I helped. However in the past years I have needed someone plus help, and no one was there for me; except for my wife and a few others. I understand they have their lives and their own problems, yet it really gets me down. I did and still do, yet when they called, I found a way to help. When I was healthy, I would visit people and family members; be there when they needed someone to help. Now with my injuries, they don't call or even show up and visit me. Now I am not really totally alone, I have my wife and I love her more than anything in this world. I have my close family, a few close friends, but nothing like I use to have when they needed something from me. Yet for someone who has been active all my life, now I feel left out, forgotten, even worst just laugh at. It hurts, and I wonder, did I do something wrong?? I keep a smile, and hope for the best, but I am depressing over this. Who would not be? I still have a few things I do, yet I am limited to what I can do. It sucks, I am turning 50 later this year, and my life seems like it's over already. What hurt’s the most is, those I trusted, I cared for, find ways to still use me, and then pass me off as if I was nothing. I have done for others more than for myself and my family, was I wrong?? Should I have just done for myself and my family and said no to the others?? I am not really looking for answers or comments. Not a surge in phone calls or messages. However I would ask you to take a moment and reflect on how you deal with others. How would you like others to deal with you? Then consider how you can make it better for others and yourself.

Changing world

I am not really in to politics, but what we are seeing today will affect the world tomorrow. I will say this; I believe that Donald Trump has the peoples view on many things and I believe can make USA strong again. Now with that being said; not everyone would come out and agree, however I believe that everyone wants the world he is saying he would like to bring to us. We were to take care of our own, build our nation strong, and then we would be much better off in the world. I know that is strange to consider, we caring for us before everyone else, but that is what is needed now. I know we are just on faction of the planet, and there are more out there then us, yet we seem to be the savers and the most hated. WHY? Because we believe is the rights of everyone, and think of a better place for all. The real facts are we are alone in this though among other nations. However there are some that believe in our goals and want to have the same rights. The real joke of the matter is we have these rights, and at the same time a government that controls everything saying it’s for our own good. I wish that someday the information that has been hidden comes out, and the real truth is told.

Where do we stand now?

Funny thing has been going on here and I am just wondering are we seeing the beginning of the end or a start of something different. First let’s look at the weather, what is going on here? Here in upstate New York we are having strange weather, cold but not too much snow. Yet South of us and into the middle of the east coast they are getting hit hard. Sorry to say nice for them and great for us, however with three more months to go I might be just eating my words. Oh well, was born in it, lived in it, and enjoy it, I like snow and most people look at me and wonder what’s wrong with this guy. What can I say I am an UPSTATE New York person! Now on to politics, what the hell is going on here? All I can say is that we are watching the final beginning of the change to how politics will be done in the future. I am glad to say people are starting to wake up and question the normal standard. Why does politics need to be run only one way, why cannot it be twisted and shaken up. I think that is what Donald Trump is doing, let face the facts this year no matter who you like or what party you are following, things are changing. I cannot wait to see what happen next. Maybe we will get real people into office and not the YES men or ladies to take orders and do for others and leave the rest of us out in the cold. Finally we will have people with no ties to parties and donors who will work for the people and answer to the people. I see many thing changing, and I hope they are for the best.

Gun Control

First off I must say that I am sorry to all the families out there have lost a member in a mass shooting or from a general shooting. There is nothing I can say to ease the pain or the lost feeling you might be dealing with. I am a believer in the 2nd amendment, I believe the first ten amendments or better known as the Bill of Rights was our fore fathers way of “We the people” to keep the government in check. “A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.” The last section is the part most be forget, ”Shall Not Be Infringed”. Hello, are you looking and reading this, the government cannot take away this right, or any part of it. Look at history of the world and even our own nation. Turn in your guns and the government will take care of you. Over and over we see where the people allowed the government to take their guns and then have complete control over the people. Even our own nation to the American Indians, what we did to them is shameful, yet it happen. Now the government is saying what type of guns we can have, how many rounds can it hold, and want to keep checking us after buying a gun on the ammo we buy. When is enough? When do “We the people” tell our elected officials enough? When do the elected officials finally start working for “we the people” and not a party line? I am a believer in open carry and everyone having a gun. It’s everyone’s right to protect themselves and others too. I would rather die knowing I tried to defend myself and others too, instead of being a moving target for someone, or a fish in a barrow. Let’s face the facts here, you want to stop some of these mass shooting, everyone carries. The next person who thinks they can kill a bunch of people will end up filled with bullets, end of story. Their road to glory or fame will be short. On top of that all, these people who want to kill Americans will think twice about coming here, knowing they will be going up against hundreds armed people. They might get a few shots off, but again they will be filled with bullets as well. “We the people”, need to stand firm on this topic and cause our elected officials to see the Second Amendment is also about personal, family, and community safety. There are enough gun laws on the books, fix them, enforce them, don’t create new ones that will not fix the problem. Education, training, support are the directions to stop these shooting, and make America strong and safe again.

Make each day count, and enjoy life.

So today is the 3rd of January, and it’s been a bad beginning of a New Year. On the first there was a local Fire at a friend’s business and its seams he might have started the fire and took his own life. What can you say to that? What must be going though someone’s mind? I don’t believe there is anything in this world that would make me take that route; I just cannot picture it happening. Then yesterday at a hockey game I saw a bunch of friends take off for a large fire which too many local departments to respond and long hours. How I feel for those guys and what they have done, I know I have done that. SO I am feeling down over my friend, and feeling sorry for my others friends whom have to endure these past few days and there is nothing I can do to help them. My life has changed so much and my quality of life is so less than normal and for me it’s just a feeling of lost. Yet I try to keep moving as much as I can. I do what I can when I can. I have learned the hard way my limits are now so low on my abilities I have come to terms this is the best I can be. It’s hard for a man whose activity level was very high and always going, do now sitting on the sidelines and watching from a distance. However, no matter how down I feel, and how I long to be more active. I have learned a few new skills that keep me in the game in one way or another. It’s not front line activity, but it’s something to still support the overall mission. So to my friends in the Fire service, I hope day three will end without your services being needed. It’s been an honor to be a Firefighter for 25+ years, and I hope in some small part my actions have improved someone’s life. To my other friend, I feel sorry you saw no other option open to you; I hope you can rest in peace. To all my others friends out there I hope you have wonderful and special lives, and to make each day count not only for yourself but for your families was well. I also wish for a better year than these past few.

The End is almost here!

Strange title would you not agree? The end is almost here. What does that cause to think of, the end of the world, your own life, this year, this month, or this day. For many people fear the end yet they don’t see the beginning. No matter what there is a beginning and an end. Yet the end is just the normal cycle of things. Consider a day, month, year; they are all a cycle with a beginning and an end; however no one really is worried about that. Everything follows the same cycle including us humans, and even our world. One day will die and so will our world. We see the cycle in many things yet we fear the cycle at the same time. So is the end almost here? In one case yes, this year of 2015 is coming to an end. Just like the cycle one year ends and another begins. I hope that this New Year coming is better than the last, I hope for improvements small and large for you all and myself.

After Christmas and Before the New Year

This year has been full of surprises and at the same time gone so fast. The winter has not been what we mostly would call common around here, yet in its own way has finally starting to show its self. I personally have had some great days and some even worst days this year. I know that I am not alone in this and others had it worst and better. I am not complaining my life is and always will be hard; however I try to make the best of it always. Even as a kid we had hard times, yet my family always seems to always make the best of it no matter what. This Christmas was hard on my family, we lost my Aunt Ann, and she was a Christmas spirit. My Uncle and cousins will remember her for how much she just enjoyed the Christmas time. I will miss her, yet I will honor her in keeping Christmas live for as long as I live. Looking to the New Year, I have a few projects I would like to do, and a few personal things I would like to complete. One very special one with be my 20th anniversary with my wife, I have a few ideas, but that needs some planning and work. However most people know me, once my mind is set, I will get what I want. I see the world around me changing; people are becoming more closed in and worried about “The What IF!”. I know this so much because I played “The What IF!” all the time. I plan for the worst and the best and hope I have covered everything. “The What IF!” can be helpful and can be a harmful all at the same time. Even today, in my current ability I still am playing the “The What IF!” game in planning for worst. I have a home now and I must be ready for “The What IF!” to happen. Will it happen and what will it be, I just don’t know? But I can tell you, I will have something in my bag to extend our survival I hope. To you the reader of this blog, I will share one more thing with you. Get out, do something, help someone, make meaning in your life, then once you have done that, do it again and again. In 25 years in the Volunteer Fire Service I have seen and dome much, not for glory or to be rewarded, just because it’s the right thing to do. Now in my disabled state I have switch roles and now not as much as a worker, now more in communication and reporting. Always thought I would be the one rescuing someone in the mess of a event. Now I have learned that there is a role for everyone, not everyone can be the BIG hero. Even the BIG hero needs someone to support them, inform them, provide information, and even make sure they get the credit. I’m ok with that, so are many others out there too. We all are hero’s one way or another, we just do our part which allows others to do theirs and in the end something good comes from all of that. So to you all Happy New Year and make it count.